Review: Chiva-Som International Health Resort, Thailand spa review

Set the scene

Fringed by palm trees, directly above the beach at Hua Hin, Chiva-Som would make a good setting for a scene in a Bond movie. Opened almost 30 years ago, it emanates just the right kind of old-fashioned glamour. The seven acres of lush gardens; the cute bridges over the goldfish lake; the dramatically underlit pool and open-sided teakwood yoga pavilion; they almost beg for a film crew. Villains could hide in the giant banyan tree or lurk in the spookily dark new flotation room; a fight scene might involve someone crashing down the waterfall-wall in the centre of the wellness centre.

Always an intriguing mix, the guests would make good extras, of course. Among them a City boy wearing three Fit-Bit-type devices, two beautiful Middle Eastern sisters, an outrageously pompous elderly American (sorry; eavesdropping), and several Imelda Marcos lookalikes, tottering out of the treatment rooms with, somehow, their elaborate hairstyles still intact.

What’s the backstory?

Three hours’ drive from Bangkok, Chiva-Som was an almost immediate sensation when it opened in 1995. Behind it was the late Boonchu Rojanastien, former deputy prime minister of Thailand and jolly fitness enthusiast whose bust stands just outside the library. ‘Above all, enjoy your life!’ reads the inscription. He’d been inspired by visiting some of the great old spas and health farms in Europe. But he’d say, “We’re going to do what they do – but better! The Thai way!” remembers Meena, a physiotherapist. Kate Moss was one of the celebrity guests who helped keep Chiva-Som in the gossip columns and glossy magazines, visiting in her Champagne-fuelled heyday. Recently, after years of turning down offers to expand the brand, Chiva-Som recently opened its first outpost, Zulal Wellness Retreat in Qatar, focussing on family health.

What’s the wellness concept?

The idea is lifestyle transformation. Based on six modalities, spa, holistic health, fitness, physiotherapy, aesthetic beauty and nutrition – and offering almost 200 different sessions and treatments – the 15 retreat themes include a new one, Ageing Well. “You don’t have to be a victim to your body’s decline,” says Head of Research and Development, Jason Culp. “The important step is to focus on prevention. We are creating our own problems if we don’t live well,”

What are the signature treatments?

Massages, but also guided exercise, are at the heart of the menu. And, in the Ageing Well retreat, sometimes quirky sessions that seem a bit ridiculous are harder and more useful than they seem. This retreat theme – suddenly only too relevant to many guests – include Pilates Reformer sessions, bone-density exercises featuring jumping and thumping one’s heels – ‘pom pom!’; gyrokinesis to strengthen the spine; and balance-improving classes. Every session – they’re all one-on-one – is guaranteed to be accompanied by touching encouragement. “Very good! Yes, yes. VERY good!” It’s a bit like being back in a super-supportive kindergarten. There’s also a useful session with the naturopath and ‘biofeedback’ to check your breathing pattern and discuss how that reflects your emotional state.

Which therapist should I book?

Sarunya, here since 1999, is a familiar face to many, for sometimes agonising but superlative reflexology. Meanwhile, Noina uses her elbows, knees and feet to administer a satisfyingly joint-loosening Thai massage. M, who started as a chef (and has a brother called A and a sister F), and delivers a powerfully strong acupressure massage.

What makes it different?

The excellence (and kindness) of the therapists is remarkable. All 80 are graduates of the Chiva Academy and know any other spa would hire them in a heartbeat, but most have been here for years. That palms-together, head-bobbing, smiling Thai service creates the most soothing, de-stressing atmosphere. Few rivals have such a setting: permanently breezy, the sound of the sea ever present.

What else do they offer?

There are nine daily free classes, from Tai Chi and meditation to Hatha yoga, yoga nidra, mat Pilates and aqua boxing. You’ll pick up plenty of useful tips, too. Spirulina helps eliminate heavy metal build-up in the body, for instance; ginger and cumin reduce bloating; lecithin and gingko can improve memory.

Where do you stay?

A five-year total overhaul that was completed in 2020 saw the spiky-roofed pavilion suites, all surrounded by trees and plants, some overlooking the lake, double in size. Anyone who likes keeping the balcony doors open at night and falling asleep to the sound of crashing waves should enjoy the Ocean Rooms. Guests enjoy everything from heated loo seats to treats in the mini-bar (well, chocolate-covered goji berries); all 54 rooms and suites have been well thought out and designed for stays of several weeks.

Anything else to mention?

The laundry service means guests can have four items laundered each day, free of charge: return to your room at about 4pm and find them ironed to perfection, hung up or carefully folded. Breakfast is a joy, above the beach on the restaurant terrace, with endless juices and smoothies and little dishes to choose from, from coconut yoghurt with muesli to fresh papaya to spicy lentils. Ditto dinner – again, no-salt, no-sugar, low-fat, with lots of fresh fish and delicately cut steamed vegetables (an experiment with piped music outside was, thankfully, dropped). Also, it’s flat, so easy to walk around. Nothing’s more than about five minutes’ walk away.

Final word

Ultra professional and utterly reliable, Chiva-Som deserves every accolade. But it does need to provide longer robes. No one wants to see the legs of the Ageing Well brigade, least of all their mortified owners. No chance of being a Bond extra looking like that.

Healing Holidays (healingholidays.com/condenast; 020 7843 3592) can arrange a 7-night stay from £4,169 per person sharing, including transfers, full board accommodation, daily fitness activities, a daily massage and a cash credit to spend on extra treatments.