13 unwritten rules you should know before travelling to Paris

Paris has changed a lot in the last few decades. Not so long ago, the tourist circuit was limited to a small number of famous locations and you’d find few locals who spoke more than a handful of phrases in English. These days, Paris is a more worldly, cosmopolitan place. However, the densely packed French capital still has its distinct way of doing things. Parisian culture places huge value on food, beauty and leisure, and many of the faux pas (at least in the eyes of Parisians) made by visitors occur when these sacred principles are infringed. From dining to (not) queuing, here’s your easy guide to navigating the City of Lights the Parisian way.

1. Never forget to say ‘bonjour'

In French culture, it is absolutely essential to say bonjour when you’re going into any café, restaurant, smaller shop, or even a small enclosed space, such as an elevator. It’s a piece of social punctuation, and leaving it out feels as unnatural to French people as not saying "excuse me" or "sorry" for a British person. You should also say au revoir when you leave. This rule applies when asking someone for help or directions: excusez-moi might feel like the most polite opening to Brits, but Parisians will still expect you to open the conversation with a bonjour or bonsoi

2. Treat waiting staff like esteemed equals

In France, hospitality is a revered pillar of French savoir-faire (know-how), and workers in the industry are treated with utmost respect. Staff in higher-end hotels and restaurants will be rigorously trained in specialised schools. Even in more everyday bistros, most of the time, the waiters’ duties extend to welcoming you, seating you suitably, advising you on the wine and specials, taking your order (often without writing it down) and checking you’re happy during the meal. While in UK and American culture, waiters are often part-time or temporary workers, many here are permanent employees with a steady salary, who don’t necessarily rely on tips. The relationship between customer and waiter, therefore, is different to what we might be used to – it’s more relational and less transactional.

3. Remember to carry some cash

Where in London you risk coming a cropper if you can’t pay contactless, in Paris things are still a touch more old-school. While you can pay by card in most places, many smaller businesses still have a minimum amount for card payment, so be sure to carry a little cash around with you (also useful for small tips in restaurants).

4. Check your Metro exit

Paris’s metro stops are very close together, but the various exits of one Metro station can take you to wildly different places, and it’s not always clearly signposted. Google Maps knows which one you should take, so when generating your itinerary, be sure to also check the Metro exit (usually denoted with a number) to ensure you head straight to your destination.

5. Embrace cycling

In recent years, Paris’s car-averse mayor Anne Hidalgo has added hundreds of miles of bike lanes in a push to make the French capital one of the greenest in Europe. This means the city is now easily traversable by bike. If you’re a confident cyclist at home, you’ll find that the vélo is a great way to get around this relatively small city. Do like the locals and use the Vélib city bike-rental scheme, which is now much more accessible to visitors thanks to the easy-to-use Vélib website or Île-de-France Mobilités app. For a few euros, you can rent classic or e-bikes; ease the process by downloading the Vélib app with live maps. Note: helmets are not included.

6. Don’t discount the buses

The Metro is reliably fast, but if you have more time, consider using Paris’ extensive bus network. Many bus routes take you past fabulous vistas of the Seine and key monuments: the 95, for example, passes the Louvre and Saint-Germain-des-Prés, while the 80 takes you from Montmartre, along the glitzy Avenue Montaigne and past the Eiffel Tower. Very importantly, as of 2024, the whole bus network is now set up to be accessible for people with reduced mobility, with a number of provisions for people with visual and hearing impairments. On the Metro network, only the new line 14 is fully accessible.

7. Learn about French meal times

Food in France is more than sustenance, more even than pleasure – it is religion. Much of life is spent buying, preparing, enjoying and even talking about food (it’s not uncommon for French people to discuss what they will have for dinner while eating lunch). This does not mean, however, that Parisians are always munching – au contraire, there is set timing around when the eating happens. People tend to have a small breakfast at home or sometimes in a café. Lunch is a meal to be enjoyed seated with others over a period of about an hour. In the afternoon, children have a sweet snack (goûter) around 4.30pm, and grown-ups have their own version, apéro, in the early evening (more on this tradition below). Dinner comes later in the evening, at around 8pm. In this very ritualised food culture, eating on the go – either in the street or on the Metro – is frowned upon. You may even get a judgy bon appétit from a local if you’re spied eating on the street. So, while you’re visiting, embrace sanctifying food the Parisian way – there are few more delicious joys than a long, lazy lunch on a sunny bistro terrace.

8. Apéro is a way of life

The concept of pre-drinks is foreign to Parisians. Here, they favour the apéritif, more commonly abbreviated to apéro – an after-work/pre-dinner drink accompanied by snack food, such as a glass of wine and charcuterie board. Many bars have happy hours (they use the English term) to accompany the tradition from as early as 5pm and late as 8pm. You can also have an at-home version with wine from your local caviste (wine shop). Every supermarket has an apéro section close to the entrance where you can pick up dips, olives, crisps and so on.

9. Respect the importance of aesthetics

The whole design of Paris, with its elegant Haussmann sandstone facades, basically puts beauty before practicality. An example: Parisians are not allowed to hang laundry on their balconies as it will affect the look of the buildings. This push for aesthetic perfection extends to clothing, too, and Parisians tend to favour the pared-down and tasteful. According to this approach, any sartorial choice that prioritises practicality to the detriment of beauty may well be judged by the locals, so if you really want to blend in, it’s best to eschew the likes of big, clunky backpacks, sensible wide-rimmed sun hats, comfortable walking sandals etc. However, you may decide you simply don’t care about these exacting local codes, and that’s just fine. See our guide for more tips on what to wear in Paris.

10. Watch and learn for queueing etiquette

British reader, please take three deep breaths and keep your pearls close for clutching. The queuing style in Paris is simply incomparable to the type of exemplary in-line behaviour we might expect in Blighty. On buses and metros, it’s a free-for-all, without much waiting for passengers to alight before climbing aboard. In shops, queues do form but are unpredictable in flow. It’s not always clear who has priority and navigating the system requires a certain level of assertiveness and boundaries: being overly polite won’t get you anywhere. Watch and learn the locals in each scenario to gauge what is best to do in each situation.

11. Tune in to the volume of the locals

Paris is a loud place with a constant cacophony of buzzy cafés, sirens, motorbikes, church bells, dogs and all kinds of other city chaos. However, the resting noise level of conversation here is quite muted. Parisians are used to being packed elbow-to-elbow at small bistro tables and have adjusted their volume accordingly. The volume at which we speak and laugh often makes tourists stand out in Parisian spaces – I’ve more than once been told to speak more quietly by fellow diners (which I, quite frankly, was not thrilled about). Adjust if you feel you want to; however, if you follow the above etiquette rules, locals tend to be a lot more forgiving of our gregarious ways.

12. Trust your wine merchant

It’s an accurate stereotype that the French take their wine very seriously. Ask for advice on which bottle to choose and your caviste (wine merchant) may speak at some length about grape varietals and terroir. Most of the time, they are not trying to flog you the most expensive bottle but really want to make sure you get the one that suits your tastes. You can always say your budget from the start so they guide you in your price range – this can be as low as 10-12 euros, even in a good wine shop.

13. Lean into leisure

Contrary to some stereotypes, Parisians are a hard-working lot, but they also take leisure very seriously. When you’re in town, do like the Parisians and try to live in the moment. While more famous and trendy restaurants will require booking ahead, very often, the best Parisian nights are spontaneous and unexpected.