What it’s like to go on a mum and baby retreat

The butterfly is a symbol of transformation and hope in spiritual circles. It’s unsurprising, really, when you consider that these beautiful creatures come into being after cloaking themselves in protective cocoons and reemerging into the world newly changed from caterpillars into butterflies. So, for me, it was a particularly magical moment on my recent mum and baby retreat when a blue-winged butterfly landed on my yoga instructor Jocie’s hand and stayed there for a minute or two as she moved through her flow. In many ways, it represented the transformation that my fellow mums and I had gone through during the five-day trip, which had succeeded in reconnecting us with our pre-baby selves.

I first heard about Jocie’s company, Theta Retreats, through a friend, who recognised that as a single mother, it might be a great option for me to go on holiday with my daughter without having to rope in another friend, family or grandparent to join us. Bringing together a small, intimate group of mothers and their children, it is designed to allow women to both get a break from their offspring and find some quality time with them, by dividing the day into two parts. In the mornings, children are looked after by experienced childcarers, while mums do yoga with Jocie, before having sacred child-free time to swim, sunbathe, read, have a massage – whatever they wish. Then, after lunch, everyone reunites, and you spend the afternoon either doing your own thing with your child or taking part in one of the kid-friendly organised activities, such as pasta-making or beading.

Set up last year, the retreats are the logical result of Jocie’s combined interests in motherhood and yoga, being a holistic birth prep practitioner and pre- and post-natal yoga instructor. And while plenty of yoga retreats exist, I’m yet to find another that adequately takes into account new mothers and their needs. Our trip to Tuscany was her fourth retreat, but there are more planned for this year and next, including one to France in a few weeks' time.

Arriving in Italy, I was at a particularly low ebb, having endured a few weeks of teething tantrums and sleepless nights. All of this stress evaporated as we pulled up at the agriturismo (a popular concept in Italy, it’s a type of self-catered accommodation on a working farm), set high up in the Tuscan mountains, a two-hour drive from Florence airport. Jocie greeted us like a ray of light, making a luminous first impression in a canary yellow jumpsuit with a sunshine pendant hanging from her neck (designed by Sylvie Gianella, an Ibizan jeweller who was also on the retreat). While some of the children who had already arrived offered to help us with our bags, the on-site chef Rich served an impressive spread of veggie snacks, from date balls to hummus and flatbreads. To say I felt my shoulders relax is an understatement.

After settling into our new surroundings during that first night, I woke up the next morning a little anxious about how my daughter would take to the childcare setting. It turns out that I needn’t have worried. Roberta, who was Luna’s keyworker, had been on Jocie’s other retreats and was much in demand in Ibiza, where she is based (we discovered after following each other on Instagram that someone I knew was a regular client of hers). She was joined by another retreat regular, Ellie, as well as three locals. Each of the three babies (aged between six and nine months) was carried in a carrier by a separate childcarer, while Luna, another toddler and the three older children (aged four to seven) were involved in a fun schedule of arts and crafts, music and play outside, supervised by everyone.

Children safely deposited, the mums headed to the outdoor yoga terrace for our morning practice, which began with a mothers’ circle, where we each shared our reasons for being here. The overarching theme for everyone was slowness and the need to wind down from the stresses and pressures of motherhood. 90 minutes of gentle yoga followed, the joy of which was enhanced by the Tuscan sunshine, the birdsong, and the frequent interruptions by local critters, whether that was a pair of dancing geckos, or a bird of prey circling overhead.

The mornings were then entirely our own, though the breastfeeding mamas did go and visit their little ones, or take them for naps. I mostly read my book, sunbathed by the pool and generally sorted my life out, ahead of the next toddler tornado. After having lunch separately (something that I found particularly sacred considering how tumultuous mealtimes often can be), I was excited to be reunited with Luna, taking her for her lunchtime nap, which we’d have together. The afternoons were then spent making spinach and ricotta-filled tortellini (though Luna preferred to do messy play with the dough and eat the raw filling), attempting kids yoga, and making a keepsake thumb-print necklace with Sylvie, interspersed with paddling in the pool and visiting the on-site donkeys. In the evenings, there was the option to attend more yoga or meditation classes, including a cacao mothers’ circle, with a listening-in or babysitting service offered.

One of the most rewarding parts of the trip was the treatment that I had one morning with Brighton-based Phoebe Grant, who was the group’s resident masseuse. I opted to try her Rohipping Ceremony – also known as “Closing The Bones” – which is specifically designed to celebrate the journey of motherhood. On a physical level, it helps to realign the hips and the pelvis after expanding during pregnancy, while on the spiritual side, it encourages the body to relax and release tension. When I arrived at her treatment space, it was pouring rain, with the pitter-patter soundtracking the first hour. Yet towards the end of the ceremony, I could sense the sun shining down through the window above me, warming my face. Incredibly, the same thing happened to another mum earlier that same day. It was moments like this that truly made the retreat feel special, with nature somehow reflecting what was going on within ourselves.

If all this sounds too wholesome to be true, then that’s because it was. This virtuousness extended to the food, too, which was all vegetarian, largely sugar-free and entirely delicious. Breakfasts included not only yoghurt, berries and granola but also Turkish eggs, smashed avocado on toast and shakshuka, while lunches were various hearty soups or cheesy risotto for the kids. I’m still missing the daily afternoon snack at 4pm, which often involved homemade peanut butter cookies or lemon cake, plus an accompanying juice involving orange, ginger or mint. Dinnertimes were eagerly anticipated, with family-style sharing dishes ranging from dahl to gnudi, lasagna to falafel, all with freshly baked focaccia and flatbreads, not to mention a series of excellent desserts, including tiramisu and lemon semifreddo. There was a polenta dish in particular that I’m desperate for the recipe for. Though there was wine on offer to any who wanted it, only a handful indulged in a glass on the final night.

I’ve recently become familiar with the concept of mummunes, or single mum communes, through my work as a journalist, and in many ways, the Theta Retreat was a way of experiencing this sort of dreamy set-up IRL. There is something really magical about spending time in the company of other mothers and their children, with everyone looking out for each other, and mothering each other, too. I lost count of the number of times that someone offered to get somebody food, or a drink, or to hold their baby. For me, this was perhaps the most beneficial part of the entire experience and something you certainly would struggle to recreate for yourself. When the time came to leave, I found that I was sad to be saying goodbye to the mums and their children, who I hadn’t known a week earlier.

Yet I have so many memories I’ll always cherish, not least the special moments of bonding with Luna: watching her face light up at the donkeys, seeing her endlessly try to copy the bigger children, and those midday nap-time snuggles. Oh, and commandeering the yoghurt dip so that no one else could get a look in. That’s my girl.

For more information and to book one of Jocie’s retreats, please visit theta-retreats.com